Downside

I've been stressing out since Tuesday because it's taking a little bit more to take care of Timmy. I was just starting to get used to his new schedule when BANG! Timmy fell from the bed and got himself a black eye. Hubby and I decided to take him to the doctor because he was showing signs of concern. He was more sleepy, not his usual active self and he vomited. We had him checked and by God's grace he is fine but since he is in pain he is more clingy than usual and we have a hard time putting him to sleep. To ease the pain the resident doctor in the E.R. told us to apply a warm compress over his eye and I'm pretty sure that this resident did not have a child :) I was chasing Timmy all over the bed just to get the warm compress over his eye and if I did it would only touch his eye for 2 seconds. Aside from that he would grab it from me and put it in his mouth.

I'm not very good at handling stress. I tend to react in a not so pleasing manner much to my husband's dismay. Through all this I pray and pray and came across this verse "In your anger do not sin" Ephesians 4:26. This is a struggle for me. I should not let my emotions get hold of me instead I should let the Lord control me. God has blessed me with a son and having one is a test of one's character. You should be a good role model, calm, loving, patient and a million other things but at the end of the day I pray that God will bless me to be the kind of mom that He wants me to be for Timmy.  

It's very hard to be a full time stay at home mom that sometimes I ask myself why am I doing this. It's easier to be employed because you only work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and when you get home you leave it all behind. Being a stay at home mom is a 24/7 job. No weekends. No vacation leaves. No sick leaves. You can't say 'I think it's time to move on and resign'. So why am I doing this? Because I love my son. God has led me to this direction and I know that I am where I am for a reason. Through good and bad all I can say is Thank you Lord.